Child Abuse

Many people don't know where to report suspected child abuse. Also, some people are afraid of reporting child abuse because of possible repercussions to the children or to themselves. In many states, it is required by law for all citizens to report suspected abuse. Each state has a different procedure for reporting abuse.

From any state, to get immediate guidance and help when you suspect child abuse, call the Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline:1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

The National Child Abuse Hotline will give you the local agency for you to call to report the incident. The abuse report must eventually go to an agency within your own state.

You probably will be relieved to know that:

• If you report child abuse, it is unlikely that the child will be removed from their home immediately. The authorities will investigate to find out if your suspicions are correct. If child abuse is confirmed, the child would then be removed from the home and placed in safe care.
• You do not have to give your name when you report child abuse, in most states.
• The child abuser cannot find out who reported them.

Remember that suspected abuse is sufficient reason to make a report to authorities. You do not need proof. Your call may make the difference in the very life of a child.

How can I help a friend or family member who is being abused?

Don't be afraid to let them know that you are concerned for their safety. Help them recognize the abuse. Tell them you see what is going on and you want to help. Help them to recognize that what is happening is not "normal" and that they deserve a healthy, non-violent relationship.

Acknowledge that they are in a very difficult and scary situation. Encourage their strength and courage. Let them know that the abuse is not their fault - the abuser, not the victim, is responsible for the abuse. Let them know they are not alone.

Be supportive. Listen to them. Remember that it may be difficult for them to talk about the abuse. Let them know you are available to help whenever they need it. What they need most is someone who will listen to and believe them and who can help them decide what to do.

Be non-judgmental. Respect their decisions. There are many complex reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. They may break up with and go back to the abuser many times. Do not criticize them for doing that. They will need your support even more during those times. Do not make them feel bad for their choices - even if you think these choices are wrong.

Encourage them to do things with you and other friends and family and to take part in other activities outside of the relationship.

If they end the relationship, continue to be supportive of them once they are alone. Even though the relationship was abusive, they will probably feel sad and lonely when it is over. They may be tempted to get back together with the abuser, and will especially need your support at that time.

Help them develop a safety plan.

Encourage them to talk to people who can give them help and guidance. Offer to go with them to find a counselor or support group, or to talk to their family, friends or teachers. If they are going to the police, to court, or to see a lawyer, offer to go along, but make sure to let them do the talking.

Remember that you cannot "rescue" them. Although it is difficult to see someone you care about get hurt, ultimately the victim has to be the one to choose to do something about it. You should be there to support them and to help them find their own way to escape the abuse and make themselves safe.

Helping Children and Teens

For some children and adolescents, questions about home life may be difficult to answer, especially if the individual has been "warned" or threatened by a family member to refrain from "talking to strangers" about events that have taken place in the family. Referrals to the appropriate school personnel could be the first step in assisting the child or teen in need of support. When there is suggestion of domestic violence with a student, consider involving the school psychologist, social worker, guidance counselor and/or a school administrator (when indicated). Although the circumstances surrounding each case may vary, suspicion of child abuse is required to be reported to the local child protection agency by teachers and other school personnel. In some cases, a contact with the local police department may also be necessary. When in doubt, consult with school team members.

If the child expresses a desire to talk, provide them with an opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings. In addition to talking, they may be also encouraged to write in a journal, draw, or paint; these are all viable means for facilitating expression in younger children. Adolescents are typically more abstract in their thinking and generally have better developed verbal abilities than younger children. It could be helpful for adults who work with teenagers to encourage them to talk about their concerns without insisting on this expression. Listening in a warm, non-judgmental, and genuine manner is often comforting for victims and may be an important first step in their seeking further support. When appropriate, individual and/or group counseling should be considered at school if the individual is amenable. Referrals for counseling (e.g., family counseling) outside of the school should be made to the family as well. Providing a list of names and phone numbers to contact in case of a serious crisis can be helpful.