"Within 3 blocks of where you are, right now this moment a child is being abused."

This was the opening statement of my Freshman Thesis on Child Abuse. By the time I'd finished my presentation, my 50-something very professional teacher was sitting in the audience in tears; I had tears in my eyes as well, but had managed to retain some level of composure knowing that a good portion of my grade was dependent upon my ability to present information effectively. I received an A+ on this thesis, my professor stating that in large part my grade was based upon my eloquent presentation of a very delicate subject. After many years in teaching, he'd had no idea of the prevalence of child abuse. That was over thirty years ago, and a lot has changed in the world with the coming of the age of electronic technology and so much information available at our fingertips. However, one thing has NOT changed - the fact that so many people are still unaware of the prevalence of abuse and its far-reaching effects and impact.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defines domestic violence as a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often [but not necessarily] including the threat or use of violence, when one person believes they are entitled to control another.

Types of abuse

Often, an abuser utilizes several types of abuse on a victim simultaneously, and it's sometimes difficult to separate the types of abuse.  For example, someone who is being abused physically is often also a victim of verbal and emotional abuse when the abuser insults, threatens, and intimadates the victim; it's also very common for an emotional or psychological abuser to continue utilize system abuse when their victim tries to escape the abuse through separation or divorce. However, this does not always work in reverse - some verbal or emotional abusers never venture into physical abuse, just as many sexual abusers do not utilize violent physical abuse on their victim.

Physical (Violent) Abuse
Verbal / Emotional / Psychological / Mental Abuse
Sexual Abuse / Sexual Exploitation
Financial / Economic Abuse
Spiritual / Religious Abuse
Stalking / Cyber Stalking
System Abuse
Sibling Abuse
Ritual Abuse

For more detailed information on any specific type of abuse, please click the link to be taken to that page. Each "Type of Abuse" page will open in a separate broser window to make your site-surfing easier!

There are also pages specifically containing information on:

 General Statistics on Abuse
Specifically on Child Abuse and Neglect (Physical, Medical, Educational)
Signs and Symptoms of Abuse
How Do I Know if I'm Being Abused?
How to Get Help if You're Being Abused
How to Help Someone Else Who Is Being Abused 
Characteristics of Victims
Characteristics of Abusers and Abuse, and Causes of Abuse
Teens and Abuse
Personality Disorders - Narcissistic, Borderline, Etc.

In General, Abuse . . .

. . . may be perpetrated by a parent, girlfriend/boyfriend, sibling, relative, teacher, coach, family friend or acquaintance, or anyone else inside or outside the person's home who has the ability to make the victim feel as though they have control of the victim, whether or not that "control" is realistic. Most often, an abuser is someone the victim knows.  Abuse can be of an adult, child, teen, or sibling. It can be physical or non-physical, verbal or non-verbal, sexual or non-sexual. It affects people of all races, religions and cultures, regardless of how much money they do or do not have or what neighborhood they live in. Victims can be make or female, and it can happen in same-sex and opposite sex relationships. Exposure to domestic violence (physical and/or non-physical) has considerable potential to be perceived as life-threatening by those victimized and can leave them with a sense of vulnerability, helplessness, and in extreme cases, horror.

The results of abuse are far-reaching and long-lasting. A victim abused by a spouse or intimate partner may develop sleeping problems, depression, anxiety attacks, low self-esteem, lack of trust in others, feelings of abandonment, anger, sensitivity to rejection, diminished mental and physical health, inability to work, poor relationships with their children and other loved ones and/or difficulty establishing intimate personal relationships, substance abuse as a way of coping, becoming an abusive parent or caregiver; physical abuse may result in death, if the victim does not - or does - leave the relationship. Children who witness domestic abuse may develop serious emotional, behavioral, developmental, or academic problems. As children, they may become violent themselves, or adopt the abusive behaviors they witness, or withdraw. Some children act out, others try to be the perfect child; they often become depressed and have low self-esteem. As they develop, children and teens who grow up with domestic abuse in the household are more likely to use violence at school or in the community in response to perceived threats, attempt suicide, use drugs, commit crimes (especially sexual assault), use violence or abusive methods to enhance their reputation and self-esteem, and are more likely to become abusers in their own relationships later in life.

The abuse may occur during a relationship, while the couple is breaking up, or after the relationship has ended. The key elements of domestic abuse are intimidation, humiliation to the other person, and often physical injury. Domestic abuse is not a result of losing control - it is intentionally trying to control another person. The abuser is purposefully using verbal, nonverbal, or physical means to gain control over the other person.

Click here for more General Information on Abuse.

Examples of Abuse

Physical Abuse - Any intentional unwanted contact with the victim's body by either the abuser or an object within the abuser's control; physical abuse does not have to leave a mark or bruise; any intentional, unwanted, offensive contact is abuse. Physical (Violent) Abuse includes (but is not limited to): pushing, shoving, throwing, kicking; slapping, grabbing, hitting, punching, beating, tripping, battering, bruising, choking, shaking; pinching, scratching, biting, pulling hair; holding, restraining, confinement, tying partner up, locking their partner in a room; breaking bones; assault with a weapon such as as knife or gun; forcing the ingestion of an unwanted substance; burning; murder. Click here for more information.

Verbal / Emotional / Psychological / Mental Abuse - Although each of these types of abuse are often classified separately, I've lumped them all together here due to the large number of overlapping similarities in how the abuse is carried out, it's effects, and signs and symptoms. These types of abuse can be verbal or nonverbal, and consists of more subtle actions or behaviors than physical abuse; anything that the abuser says or does to the victim which causes the victim to be afraid, lowers the victim's self-esteem, or manipulatesw thes emotion. Like other forms of violence in relationships, this type of abuse is based on power and control, and this abuse of someone keeps the partner on an emotional roller coaster; the abuser keeps the victim off balance so the victim does not trust their own sense of reality. Can include (but is not limited to): threatening or intimidating to gain compliance; destruction of the victim's personal property and possessions, or threats to do so; violence to an object (such as a wall or piece of furniture) or pet, in the presence of the intended victim, as a way of instilling fear of further violence; yelling or screaming; name-calling; constant harassment; embarrassing, making fun of, or mocking the victim, either alone within the household, in public, or in front of framily or friends; criticizing or diminishing the victim's accomplishments or goals; not trusting the victim's decision-making; telling the victim that they are worthless on their own, without the abuser; excessive possessiveness, isolation from friends and family, limiting involvement with others, possibly denying access to a car, not allowing her to go to school, harrassing her or causing other problems at her workplace so that she loses her job; excessive checking-up on the victim to make sure they are at home or where they said they would be; saying hurtful things while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and using the substance as an excuse to say the hurtful things; blaming the victim for how the abuser acts or feels; making the victim remain on the premises after a fight, or leaving them somewhere else after a fight, just to "teach them a lesson"; making the victim feel that there is no way out of the relationship;put-downs; insulting remarks about the victim, the victim's family or friends; threats of violence and harm; racial slurs; intentionally embarrassing the victim in front of other people; telling the victim what to do; making the victim feel responsible for causing the violence; stalking; hathreatening to commit suicide; threatening to expose the victim's secrets (such as personal/private sexual information, sexual orientation, or immigration status); threatenintg to take awway the victim's children; controlling finances, taking victim's money, giving victim an allowance or making victim ask for money, insisting that victim account for all her expenditures and/or have no knowledge of the family finances; playing mind games, denying the abuse ever happened, saying the victim "caused it", or making light of the abuse telling the victim they "has no sense of humor"; extreme jealousy and aner, getting angry and jealous and accuse victim of having affairs if she even speaks to someone of the opposite sex. Click here for more information.